The last time I was on the Atlantic City Boardwalk, it was Challenge AC. It was June, hot, and I doing my best impression of a psychotic NBA ref with a whistle and an attitude (click here for the gory details). This past Sunday, I was whistle-free as a participant in the Atlantic City Sprint Triathlon. Although when I ran down the boardwalk, I think some of my rolling chair buddies recognized me. I saw them huddling up to plan their revenge. I hustled.
The Atlantic City race winds up the tri season for most of us, so it’s a great opportunity to spend time with friends one last time, before things like polar vortexes ruin our lives for eight months. The entire WBTU Team raced, including our newest member Kimberly, or Mini Race Director/Mini RD. (That’s a newly-minted nickname. You heard it here first.)
It’s at this point that I need to be completely, 100% honest with you. All truth, all the time here at TMT. When everyone was driving to the race site in the dark, well before dawn, I was still in my pj’s. That’s because we “camped” at the race site. Quotes are necessary, because sleeping on a luxury camper bus with a full kitchen and a 70-inch flat screen TV probably does not qualify as real camping. The Race Director owns this massive condo on wheels, so she, Mini RD, Snarky G., the Jelly Bean and I had a sleepover. That is going in the diary.
Race morning was cold and windy, but the sun coming up over the casinos was an incredible sight.
Time-trial start off the EZ-docks, installed for race day.
The Race Director, Mini RD, the Rev and I all raced the Sprint, while Snarky G. and Mrs. Donovan raced the International, and Jelly Bean competed in the one mile swim. In addition to these races, there was the 2014 USAT Mid-Atlantic Regional Paratriathlete Champions. The paratriathletes are beyond inspirational. It’s such a thrill to be a witness to their championship.
Who’s better than them? Nobody.
Also, there was a collegiate conference championship. Seeing the college athletes on the course was a blast. I adopted Boston University as my favorite team that day. Their team was huge, vocal, and a lot of fun. Syracuse University, on the other hand, had jerseys that said “Real Triathletes Wear Orange”. I know this because I passed an SU triathlete as she rode her mountain bike. Oof.
The Boston University Triathlon Team, or BUTT. (Hee hee.)
TEAM WBTU PODIUM REPORT:
- The Race Director: 3rd OA sprint
- The Reverend: 2nd Masters
- TMT: 2nd AG
- Mini RD: 4th AG
And then things get complicated:
- Snarky G. had wicked bike mechanical problems out on the AC Expressway and was unable to finish. This is her second time with bike issues. I immediately suspected foul play, and so I have partnered with TMZ and launched a TMT Special Investigation.
- Mrs. Donovan, who has ordered custom curtains for her home on the podium this summer, was not called to the podium. We were DUMB STRUCK. We were HORRIFIED. We threw our BEERS DOWN TO THE GROUND IN ANGER. No, no. We didn’t do that. That would be wasteful. Turns out, J-Chip screwed up, and she should have been 2nd Masters.
- To make matters worse, Jelly Bean’s name was not called either. DUMB STRUCK/HORRIFIED/BEERS THROWN, take two. Another screw up in the results. She was 2nd overall, beating everybody but one man.
I am making special, personalized trophies for JB and Mrs. Donovan, using pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, and those little plastic googly eyes. Maybe even multiple colors of felt. I can be pretty crafty when I need to be.
A couple special TMT shout outs:
- This lady, Miss Joelle of the Tri Misfits, baked me a sweet donut cake. It looks just like my logo and even had jelly filling! I give it a rating.
- Mr. Donovan, the brave spouse of Mrs. Donovan, kicked my ass at the end of the sprint. I caught him on the run toward the end of the boardwalk. I passed him, then he passed me right back, and took off. Nice job, JD.
- Mr. Delmo-nice work. You give people want they want. The paratriathletes have an amazing setting for their regional champs, the college kids have their conference champs, and Team WBTU has a fun and fabulous season wrap-up. Great course, fabulous breakfast, cheap and cold draft beer during the awards.
- Tri Misfits, thanks for the ovation as I took my place on the podium. You always make me feel like a rock star.
The last TMT Race Report of 2014. Sniff.