A Gold Medal Day (A TMT Race Report)


Probably was. I mean, it wasn’t actually MY birthday.

I love birthdays. Birthdays are my favorite. Saturday was the birthday of my friend K.D., a.k.a. Mrs. Donovan. To pull off the perfect summer birthday celebration (#neverbeendone #levelofdifficulty6.0 #smileforthejudges), a master strategy was required. Team WBTU was committed to excellence this day.  All went to plan. Execution was flawless. Nailed the landing. Even the Russian judge liked it. Here’s the play-by-play:


Race the Lake Lenape Sprint Triathlon in Mays Landing, NJ. Our crew rolled into Lake Lenape Park as the sun rose. We were without our beloved Race Director, who was killing it at a 70.3 in Munchie, IN, and Miss Jelly Bean was absent due to a previously scheduled hangover. Otherwise, the team was intact.

  • The birthday girl took home first place OA. Plus, she was serenaded by the participants and volunteers. She really enjoyed that.


She was disappointed that the trophy wasn’t bigger.

  • Teresa, our spiritual leader, won her age group. Praise God. Or, as TRob told me, “Jesus never said shut up.”


  • I snagged third in my age group. Not sure how that happened, because I really sucked so badly on Bikey. Whatever.


Maybe photo bombing, maybe food poisoning. It’s a toss up.

  • Due to mechanical issues, Frannie G. was a last minute scratch. But she did a recon run on the 5K course before the race. She figured out stuff like, oh I don’t know, where the softball team was handing out water. More importantly, she was a witness to the fact that I BEAT THE OTHER TWO OUT OF THE WATER.


Race the Iron Soldiers Biathlon in Ocean City, NJ.  A 1 mile ocean swim, followed by a 4 mile beach run.  The athletic competition really played second fiddle to the honoring of Army 1st Lieutenant Salvatore S. Corma III, who was killed in April while serving in Afghanistan. Freddie Klevan hosts the race, and asks only that the participants bring “treats” that will be sent overseas to our troops. Done! However, teammate Frannie “Snarky” G. deserves a shout out for finishing third overall female. #shoutout.


 See that sand? It’s soft. Soft=Evil.

I personally skipped the run and just swam, for reasons described below.

In between races:

Debauchery. The birthday girl and Mr. Donovan hosted us for a pool-side party with pizza, mojitos, and birthday cake. It didn’t take too much rum for Snarky to show up to the party. I like her. She’s got spunk.

Honesty is the policy here at TMT. The mojitos (and beer and carrot cake) challenged my stamina. My focus. My gastrointestinal tract. Hence, I bailed on the run in Ocean City and just swam. As I watched everyone run on a high tide beach, my own personal genius in race day decision-making was confirmed.

Sunday morning:

Ouch. The doctor said take two creamers and the day off. Done and done.

After receiving perfect scores across the board, we won the gold on Saturday. There was no official flag raising and anthem, but I like this better:

command team



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